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5 MUST KNOW SIGNS of EMOTIONAL ABUSE


Today I want to talk with you, About the five signs of emotional abuse. So stay tuned. So like I said, Today I want to talk with you
about emotional abuse. I heard from many of you That this was a topic that you really
wanted me to dive deeper into. And the thing about emotional abuse. That I think is important to note. Is the fact that it’s really elusive. It can happen for a long period of time. Without us even knowing it’s going on. And it can damage us. Sometimes, and some therapists and
researchers believe. That it can be more damaging than Actual physical abuse. Because it can undermine what we really
think about ourselves. How we feel about ourselves. Our whole belief about who we are,
and what we’re going to do with our lives. And so it can leave these wounds. For years. Without us sometimes even recognising that
they are there. The first sign or symptom
of emotional abuse is: Are they degrading you? Ask yourself that question. Like I said, often times we don’t
notice these things are happening. The way to know if this is happening. Is, are they putting you down in
front of others? Do they use sarcasm as a way to hurt you? And then when you speak up and say, ‘Hey, that really hurt’ They tell you that you are
being too sensitive. Do they make jokes at your expense? Do they ever negate how you feel? Like when you tell them that certain
things have made you feel a certain way. They tell you that you are
completely wrong or off base. Because each of these little
things that can happen. Add up to a really poor confidence. It can really eat away at how
we feel about ourselves. And our confidence when we
walk into a room. Because we are being put down in front
of people all the time. And humiliated. The second sign or symptom
of emotional abuse is: When someone is dominating
or controlling your life. Now to that end. I don’t mean someone who is just
‘controlling’. I mean someone who belittles you. Who treats you like a child. Who may even control your spending. And they will, when you tell them
about plans that you have. And aspirations. They put them down. And make them seem so stupid and small. And they act like they are just
superior to you. And everything that you do. Is something that they have control over. You often feel. Sometimes I have patients
who have told me, That after time they even struggled To make very small decisions
without calling that person. Or getting a hold of that person. Because they’ve been under
their control for so long. They can forget how to even think
for themselves. The third sign or symptom
of emotional abuse is: Accusing and blaming. Does the person in your life, Struggle to laugh at themselves? They never apologise. That would be ridiculous
to ask them to do so. Often these people will blame all of
their problems onto other people. They are never to blame. Never. They have no short comings. And they tend to highlight
your short comings. And make you apologise when
you’ve done nothing wrong. These people just tend to feel
that they do everything best. And if anybody questions that. Or puts them down. Or says anything criticising to them. They freak out. They completely lose it. The fourth sign or symptom
of emotional abuse is: Neglect. We all know these people. They give us the cold shoulder. They stone wall us. They give us the ‘silent treatment’ when
we have done something bad. Or we might not even know what
we have done wrong. And that is most often the case
when it’s emotional abuse. And I find this to be most common, In parent child relationships. Where the parent will ice out the kid. They will not meet their needs. Basic needs. They will stay in a locked
bedroom in the back. They wont come out. They will withhold affection or attention. Or sometimes I’ve even had parents say They are going to show up for
a play or something. And they don’t. Because they have done something wrong. And so this is how they manage it. And know that this is not a normal
type of punishment. This isn’t an okay way to
treat a child. This isn’t a way to parent. This is emotional abuse. The fifth sign or symptom of
emotional abuse is: Emeshment or codependence. Now the way to know that is happening. Is when someone doesn’t treat you like
a whole other person. They treat you as an extension
of themselves. They may make choices for you. They may make choices for you as a
whole cohesive group. They may share information with you, that is completely going through
boundaries that you’ve set up. It may be a parent that over shares about
their relationship with your step father. Or your father. Or your mother. Or somebody. They are sharing their sexual
relationship, possibly. I’ve had parents do this to
clients of mine. And it can be really difficult to take. Also this person tends to not take into
consideration what you want or need. They’ll say, ‘I’m doing what’s best for you’. Now I know parents will do that sometimes. And I don’t want this to be confused with
parents saying, ‘I’m not going to buy you that
$200 pair of shoes.’ ‘Because I know what’s best for you. You’re
going to be fine with this $50 pair of shoes.’ That’s not what I’m talking about. What I’m talking about is you actually
have needs or wants. Like, ‘I really would like to take this
class.’ Or, ‘It’s really important for me, that I
go to this university.’ Or see this friend. And they are like, No no. I know what’s best for you and you are
going to hang out with me all day. We’re going to do things together,
all day long. And these people have no boundaries
for like a parent child relationship. Or a friend to friend relationship. They tend to not see any seperation. They treat you as if you’re them. And you are one. And it can be really unhealthy. And really difficult for us to get out of
these relationships. Because it’s so palpable. They’re everywhere. They are in all of our business. And these people can even share our
business with other people. Because they feel it’s okay. Without going through us and making
sure we’re okay with it. They can share personal information with
others because, you know, We’re the same. So I figured since I thought it was
okay, you’d think it’s okay. Right. So there is no division. Now I hope this helps clear it up. I tried to break this down into sections, Because emotional abuse is this huge vast
bucket of things that can happen to us. And if you are worried. Or you think that this has happened to you. The most important thing you can do,
if you are under 18. Is speak up about it. Because emotional abuse is not something
that you have to tolerate. And it’s something that is reportable. I’m a mandated reporter
for things like this. Because, especially under the neglect. And the blaming and the shaming. And the enmeshment. The unhealthy relationships that parents
can have with their children. Can be detrimental to us in the future. So the sooner you speak up and
get support, the better. Now if you are a survivor of this. I hope that you are seeking therapy. And you are getting your own support
for this. Because we can overcome it. This doesn’t define who we are. Because this has happened to us. That doesn’t mean that our whole world is
sucked into it. And that we’ll do this to other people. Or we’ll only be in abusive relationships. We can get through it. The more we talk about it. The more honest we are about it. And talking about the details. And how hurtful things were for us. The faster we will over come it. I hope that you found this helpful. Don’t forget to subscribe to my channel. I put out videos five days a week. And you don’t want to miss them. Right. And as always. Leave your comments below. Let me know what you liked, didn’t like. Things that you want me to
talk about more. And if you like this video,
give it a thumbs up. And wherever you are on the internet. You can find me. So make sure you follow me on
twitter, tumblr, instagram, Whatever. Wherever you need me, I’m there. I’ll see you next time. Subtitles by the Amara.org community

Robin Kshlerin

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100 COMMENTS

  1. twisted wolf legacy Posted on November 4, 2019 at 5:14 am

    My stepmother in a nutshell. But she also hit me all the time

    Reply
  2. Kathy McMurray Posted on November 5, 2019 at 12:39 am

    My dad's ex to a t

    Reply
  3. Jennifer Gallagher Posted on November 5, 2019 at 6:27 am

    You have me in tears watching this. I've always suspected emotional abuse from my parents. They would tell me I was a bad girl and ground me. I was 20 and had a curfew of 10p.m. I finally moved out my last 3 years of college for my Masters. But, was very secluded. I was so afraid of getting in trouble or my dad stopping by unannounced. I graduated began working and was most successful until I became mysterious I'll. I was on FMLA. At the top of my career. They chose to end my contract. At the time there wasn't Obamacare so I couldn't get insurance due to prior conditions. And now every day is worse and worse with my parents controlling me. They actually want me to move out of my home and in with them so they can get a small condo where my brothers live. I dont know what they tell my brothers but they dont even speak to me. They constantly tell me I'm lazy, old and I'll never get married. I use a Walker. I dont think that's lazy. And my ex fiance met someone online and married her on our wedding day. My dad blames me! No empathy what so ever. It's taken me about 6 single years to realize it's them emotional hurting me and I'm always trying to make peace. Now what am I supposed to do with that? If I have to move with them. They will commit me. Thanks for your videos they are very helpful.

    Reply
  4. ems ems Posted on November 5, 2019 at 11:40 pm

    I was 37 when my life finally collapsed into the deep dark hole. I was diagnosed with BPD, GAD, C-PTSD, Menieres Disease and Major Clinical Depression. I lost part of my hearing and my work as a trumpet teacher. All in 2 months. I started self harming although I had never heard of it before but realised I had been harming in one way or another all my life. I am harm free 14 months now. Just stopped, cold turkey. There is so little help and advice out there for us oldies, I have been quite isolated in all this.

    Reply
  5. Euequesoueu Posted on November 7, 2019 at 5:56 am

    I don't know but I find that a lot of what is considered emotional abuse is actually verbal abuse (insulting). My experience of emotional abuse is a lot different. It was associated with the tactics of a sexual predator, who once he has created a relationship of trust and dependance, will lock you into the relationship emotionally. This he did by use of NO offensive words, insults or degradation; if anything, it was the opposite. His emotional abuse consisted of forcing me to talk with him about our relationship, when I confronted him with disapproval. He would go on and on about how much he cared for me and loved me. He had several other tactics, like the silent treatment, blaming me for abusing him, always gearing the conversation according to his way of thinking, or playing the victim of a lifetime of misery and abuse so I would feel sorry for him. All of this kept me in an emotional turmoil, and guess who was there to help me? Him!

    Reply
  6. do not disturb Posted on November 12, 2019 at 4:18 am

    degraded.you .putting you down in front of others… neglect your emotions… dominating your life…. accusing… never apologize… make you apologize when you have done nothing wrong …silent treatment…. O my God..
    Why me ….why?

    ..
    .

    Reply
  7. Sub Mazin Posted on November 12, 2019 at 5:04 am

    1. Yeah that is happening
    2. Absolutely
    3.she never apologizes
    4. If she’s not yelling at me then yeah
    5.she does force her self on me sometimes

    Darn

    Reply
  8. dakine Posted on November 12, 2019 at 12:39 pm

    I noticed when I get hurt I shut down so I am not able to talk to the person that I feel hurt by. I do not mean to give the silent treatment but I just don´t know how to express how I feel and feel so upset that I also do not want to talk to them. Has anyone experienced this and resolved it?

    Reply
  9. Response& Ability Posted on November 12, 2019 at 8:54 pm

    The victim card for I wanna blame everyone else for my issues.
    I've been through each of these things, and I had to get stronger and realise that I needed to be stronger, so stop blaming them. It's my fault I waited so long, and it's my fault I didnt leave, and it's my fault I choose to stay inside.

    Reply
  10. SuperMerchus Posted on November 13, 2019 at 2:36 am

    Jeez you dragged that out a bit. Lasted a minute

    Reply
  11. Viv Bianca Posted on November 13, 2019 at 2:05 pm

    Hi Katy – Can you do a vid on Coercive Control please?

    Reply
  12. paper dreamer Posted on November 13, 2019 at 4:21 pm

    I'm so confused so I need to know am I being emotionally abused? My dad says hurtful things like girls are their dads property and he yells and sometimes curses when he can't get his way or tells us that God is going to hurt or destroy us when I told him about it he just acted like I was the one who was wrong. I don't care who answers this just please clear this question up for me I'm 18 and I've been struggling with this for a while I've been told that I'm just rebellious is that true I just don't know.

    Reply
  13. Dragon Spear Posted on November 13, 2019 at 6:07 pm

    Does anybody have any advice for this? I am a male 15 year old freshmen in High school and i am not even allowed to have my iPhone in my room when i sleep not to mention my freaking bed time that i have had since 6th grade so i go to bed at 9:30pm when all my friends are responsible and turn there electronics off on there own and can stay up as late as they want just as long as they get a reasonable amount of sleep. But i am that one kid who try's there best in school with all the shit they have going on in their lives and my parents monitor my iPhone and have parental controls on it with screen time that shuts down when it is time for bed. I am a good graded student in school and my grades range from B to A+. I have been pleading my parents for years to let me a be a responsible teenager but every time they get all in my face and say "wE aRE dOiNg wHaTs bEsT fOr yOU" wich makes me so pissed off because they never under stood how i felt until this got so bad we had to go to family therapy about it because i got depressed because they never gave me any privileges. so fucked up! i love my parents and everything but this is getting to annoying and too serous. I listen to all their silly rules and i get no responsibility and privileges out of it!!

    Reply
  14. neha kumari Posted on November 14, 2019 at 6:40 am

    Yes right someone is dominating and controling my life by abusing and that is also without reason .what legal action can I take to put him behind prison

    Reply
  15. Aerin Volk Posted on November 14, 2019 at 2:43 pm

    You did a good job, Kati. Thank you.

    Reply
  16. Nathan Householder Posted on November 14, 2019 at 3:48 pm

    I'm not sure I agree with your remarks about being Clean Shaven. I think a more accurate remark should be well-groomed.

    Reply
  17. Judah Iam Posted on November 16, 2019 at 3:42 am

    "Don't talk back." "You're lipping off." "Don't you dare say no to me." Translated: How dare you have an opinion, feeling, or an identity that challenges me. Stop being.

    Reply
  18. Artistli Posted on November 16, 2019 at 8:35 pm

    My parents in a nutshell.

    Reply
  19. _Orso_ Posted on November 17, 2019 at 4:27 am

    The affect this had on me was just isolating myself for like 10 hours straight
    Sadly, this is because of my parents, also i cried for 10 hours straight and now everything hurts 😐 all because i can't tell if it was emotional abuse,
    R.i.p emotions ._.

    Reply
  20. Mama Bear Posted on November 18, 2019 at 12:59 pm

    Does degrading only a problem when in public?

    Reply
  21. Arthur Gregory Posted on November 18, 2019 at 1:42 pm

    Especially when they gp back and forth. I love you and miss you! Then I need space etc etc

    Reply
  22. Blah Anger Posted on November 19, 2019 at 5:06 pm

    I have no idea what "normal"is this is sad I know what it should be.

    Reply
  23. selenav1986 Posted on November 21, 2019 at 12:42 am

    Emotional and verbal abuse is so bad. My sister is both. for a long period in my life my sister was my biggest fear. sometimes i WISHED she would hit me so i can tell my mom “hey, this is serious. it’s no longer just her personality. she’s hurting me” because that’s what i was told that it was “just her personality.” my fear of her still lingers to this day although i’ve gotten better at standing up for myself. she’s most of the reason for me being suicidal and me self harming in the past. unfortunately, she continues to be some of the reason for me relapsing after two years clean. luckily i haven’t gone too far but i’m trying my best. i wish i grew up with a better sister.

    Reply
  24. yellow mellow Posted on November 21, 2019 at 1:53 am

    it’s so hard. because it’s my dad! i love him! i have to! but like if he wasn’t my dad i would despise him. seriously i had a friend over and you could hear him screaming at my mom. i quietly murmured “sorry i don’t really like him”
    it’s hard to say the truth. i don’t like my dad. he screams at me, hits me, scares me. but i can’t say that. it has to be normal. that’s the only way

    Reply
  25. yellow mellow Posted on November 21, 2019 at 1:56 am

    it’s so hard. because he’s my *dad*. i have to love him. and sometimes he’s nice. sometimes he not. sometimes he’s loving. sometimes he’s scary. sometimes he’s caring. sometimes he’s abusive.
    it’s so hard. and i don’t know what’s normal anymore

    Reply
  26. Daniel Kruger Posted on November 21, 2019 at 8:17 am

    Two back surgeries and cut short of a career really hit hard but the seed was the narcissistic upbringing that would get so bad at times you broke down and eventually you learned to be better at it because you were tired of always being wrong it made your soul hard to where you could not be hurt on the outside but you're always being destroyed on the inside

    Reply
  27. Daniel Kruger Posted on November 21, 2019 at 8:22 am

    When I got older I remember saying I could hand you a winning lottery ticket and you would bitch that I handed it to you wrong. But then realize the only thing I wanted in life I could never have not because I didn't deserve it but for that person to give it ment I wasn't the yo yo on a string. Just wanted to be accepted appreciated or have unconditional love. But it always had to be earned day after day. And every night you went to bed either thinking I'm not good enough or will tomorrow be the day. But as a kid you got to the point of fearing it continuing because you never got it for something the day before and always had nightmares but that's a whole different animal and this isn't therapy unless of course you send me a bill or I like the couch in your office and become a regular but it was always a place I could talk.

    Reply
  28. Citarani Auliawati Posted on November 21, 2019 at 2:54 pm

    I almost have all those treatments. I grew up with those things. I can't speak up to my mom because she had diabetes type 2 which is makes me feel bad to do it. And I didn't feel any support from other members of my family. After my dad passed away 8 years ago it become worse. Am I on dangerous condition? Btw I'm 22

    Reply
  29. Aivita G Posted on November 21, 2019 at 9:23 pm

    Does anyone know any books on this topic taht could help me heal?

    Reply
  30. I literally can’t deal Posted on November 22, 2019 at 4:34 am

    Should I send this to my mom?

    Reply
  31. MettaFTW Posted on November 23, 2019 at 3:06 am

    is being forced into situations with a toxic person a form of emotional abuse? like, when A is perfectly well aware that B is upsetting you, but refuses to acknowledge it or let you speak about it? i feel like doing that for 15 years is probably SOME form of abuse. i guess i lean towards emotional because it made me unwilling or unable to talk about anything that wasnt public knowledge.

    Reply
  32. Gisi Posted on November 23, 2019 at 9:09 am

    I lived in an emotional and fiscal abusive family. If you bring any idea or are too cheerful you are wrong. I have the nickname of The Exaggerate or The Clown.
    In my almost 20 years of relationship with my now husband, I realise that we were emotional abusing each other. We love each other so much. I know we are always in disposition to improve.
    ANY ADVICE FOR COUPLES?

    Reply
  33. Vinos Bibendum Posted on November 23, 2019 at 10:29 pm

    Shes the best.

    Reply
  34. Robert Wiegman Posted on November 24, 2019 at 1:46 am

    Very important question I got for ya…mustn't we always be careful to keep a distinction between "emotional abuse" v. People simply losing their temper, even if it happens repeatedly? I'm afraid the phrase "abuse" can be abused too and become slanderous.

    Reply
  35. zoe grey Posted on November 24, 2019 at 1:56 am

    love your shirt Kati!! <3

    Reply
  36. Frmhevn * Posted on November 24, 2019 at 3:42 am

    Thank you for sharing. 💖🙏🕊

    Reply
  37. Christopher Green Posted on November 24, 2019 at 4:22 am

    This sounds like my family history to a "T"!

    Reply
  38. Blanshec Posted on November 24, 2019 at 11:25 am

    I spent seven years in this state. I think im broken beyond repair.

    Reply
  39. Kendle Alexine Posted on November 25, 2019 at 6:38 am

    can I add pays me after he yells in my face and lashes out along to the list? money and sorry mean nothing to me anymore

    Reply
  40. Sop Lim Posted on November 25, 2019 at 10:07 am

    This sounds like my someone I work with.
    I’m dealing with it by secretly recording her and gathering evidence so I can sue her very soon.
    Hopefully this teaches her a lesson

    Reply
  41. Starship to night Posted on November 25, 2019 at 5:44 pm

    Feeling guilty for watching this. I appreciate everything my foster parents are doing but they are just so hurtful and abusive.
    Soooo how do i tell them that i would like to see a therapist because of my struggles???? Everything is so messed up.

    Reply
  42. André St-Laurent Posted on November 25, 2019 at 11:50 pm

    sign #2 are my parents, definitely. sign #4 are every girl on instagram.

    Reply
  43. Peregrination Posted on November 26, 2019 at 9:23 pm

    These things got blown out of proportion when I was 18 and moved back in with my parents because I developed a complex physical medical condition. So basically as long as I'm dependent on them for anything, they're superior and have more value, or because they help me with medical things I can't question anything else or ask for respect. I'm not working full-time (or in a job they think counts as "hard work") so I live a life free of stress and just a bum. I completely succumbed to this mentality too, and I assumed indeed mental things don't count unless the people around you decide they count. There's no consideration for having different sets of challenges in life and different ways of processing. My relatives really echo the "I work hard, so if I don't think you work as hard as me, you don't count" mindset (they all come from their own abusive background, and it's probably mostly their parents' voices in their heads). Talking about anything just leaves you open for belittlement and mockery, which eventually became triggering. These things were always in the family, but having a physical illness really catalyzed things to a point that I could see that out "normal" was really wrong, and very hard to escape.

    Reply
  44. SCOOPS TRAINING GROUP Posted on November 28, 2019 at 6:48 pm

    She basically described virgo women from what I can tell

    Reply
  45. Salem Roses Posted on November 30, 2019 at 7:46 am

    Emotional abuse can go unnoticed by therapists. You don't realize it's something wrong. You think there is nothing wrong until someone points out the truth.

    Reply
  46. Leo Oel Posted on December 1, 2019 at 4:45 pm

    Number 3 all day, but she mad it doesn't work on me anymore. Advice to people who struggle with emotionally abusive partners, or family members…be smart, save up your money, and go away. Once you break that everyday contact, they no longer have control over everything you do. You can get up and go to the bathroom without asking for permission or making an announcement. You can also go out and do something without that person filing a missing person's report every time you go to the movies.

    You can't change others and if they don't want to listen, then you've done all you can. Don't blame yourself, know who you are dealing with and move forward with YOUR life. You deserve to live out of confinement and breath without asking to breathe. It does get better! It does, I promise you. Be strong and stay 100% you.

    I love you very much and so should you,

    Happiness and love

    Reply
  47. XxMadz007 Posted on December 2, 2019 at 2:10 am

    So, let’s say you are an emotionally abusive person without realising it. What steps would you recommend them to take with regards to mending the relationship?

    Reply
  48. KA Boozle Posted on December 2, 2019 at 8:07 pm

    I wish I could find a therapist who would take me seriously. I have suffered my whole life (and still am) from an emotionally abusive, gaslighting narcissistic mother and a spineless father and even though I know that that ‘s the case (in part because of your videos) my current therapist refuses to address it. For example, after having been misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder and narcissistic personality disorder I finally got a diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder (which is a common misdiagnosis). My mother’s reaction was not one of compassion or even interest but literally “I don’t understand how you could be such a failure. I have always thought of myself as having a very healthy womb and you even got to stay an extra 3 weeks.” (I was born 3 weeks late, a fact which she never lets me forget because it forced my parents to change their plans to move to a new town by a few weeks).

    Reply
  49. Olivia Phoenix Posted on December 3, 2019 at 8:56 pm

    Like a trashy and pathetic lover

    Reply
  50. Daniel Holt Posted on December 5, 2019 at 4:11 pm

    This woman is beautiful lol

    Reply
  51. Yagura Inuzuka Posted on December 5, 2019 at 4:26 pm

    To be honest my mom did abuse me emotionally by telling me. "I´m ashamed to admit you are my son" And the reason was I took stuffed animals at school

    Reply
  52. Eliza Eliza Posted on December 5, 2019 at 5:40 pm

    I never realized how serious this form of abuse was when I was younger. I only ever recognized what it had cost me after I was over 18. If your young and not sure if things are really "that bad" or your questioning if what happened was "okay" or "wrong". Trust me its better to speak up and talk to a trusted adult. If they don't help or take things seriously keep trying to find someone who will. Talk to your doctor, your teacher, a school counselor, your therapist, any safe adult that may be able to help. I promise someone will and things will improve if you can be strong and speak up. I wish I had, please don't let my story be yours.

    Reply
  53. ninnybear1030 Posted on December 6, 2019 at 3:43 am

    I was emotionally abused.

    Reply
  54. Ya like Jazz? Posted on December 6, 2019 at 5:10 am

    I wish I new this when I was in 3rd grade because I was in an emotionally abusive relationship for 5 years.

    Reply
  55. la v Posted on December 6, 2019 at 10:27 am

    Invalidation = I hate that sarcastic eyes!
    I don’t know what love is.. in my life mean abuse …

    Reply
  56. David Hyde Posted on December 7, 2019 at 9:40 pm

    Emotional abuse is not only worse than physical abuse . People who are emotionally abused HURT THEMSELVES.
    The biggest problem with people talking about the difference between physical and emotional abuse .
    It is called the pissing contest and it may not be you it is most likely them whom have been groomed to invalidate themselves.
    They say that my childhood is in the top most horrific childhoods. The physical abuse is unimaginable to most people plus you will traumatize these people by telling them.
    How do you get validated and/or helped when the person you just poured your heart out too needs a trauma therapist because of what you told them that they could never imagine in their worst nightmares .
    Now think of a person who has been groomed to invalidate themselves and you just traumatize the hell out of them . They can no longer even think about what they feel because they are now overwhelmed by what you said.
    When I am talking to people who have been emotionally abuse the first thing that tell them is emotionally abused people hurt themselves.
    The only difference between you and me is that I did not have to think of ways of hurting myself.
    Any person who has been horrifically physically abused will tell any person who has been emotionally abused their condition causes much more suffering than the physical abuse does .

    Never put physical abuse on a pedestal we all suffer horrific emotional abuse who use pain to feel numb .
    Put emotional abuse on the pedestal physical abuse is a symptom of emotional abuse . You are physically abused to ensure that you are not blocking out the emotional abuse .
    It’s about control and keeping you from success because they believe that people will think badly of them if you succeed .
    I am sixty years old and my mother will inject in the middle of my sentence and finish it. Then argue with me about what I feel and think .
    If I told someone that I love apples 🍎 my mother would instantly cut in and say no you don’t you love oranges 🍊 when I hate them.
    I am not kidding you my mother tells me today what I think and believe is not true.
    My parents told the police that I was wasted out of my mind on LSD and I did not smoke weed .
    What that means is that in the 70s LSD was overwhelmingly powerful the out of body experience that many never came back from . Not a chance would anyone take LSD the first time they got high . The police New that I was not wasted on drugs after their cop was nearly killed because he pulled a gun and told me that he was going to blow my head off he looked like a junky who was Jonesing . The senior officer of the police station interviewed me because he wanted to know what were my parents thinking and the answer is control they believe that you will believe them. Regardless of reality.

    She would like to tell me what I think and feel so she can gossip about it.
    I went no contact for two years so I can figure out who I am and what I feel without their constant interference kicking my feet out from under me and telling me that I tripped over my own two feet.
    I have The highest IQ in my family I suffered the worst physical and emotional abuse from my parents than my brothers and sisters did because I was way more intelligent than they were .
    I was the scape goat my mother is a covert narcissist who engages in gaslighting me every time I speak . If I tell my parents that I have an Objective . I might as well be tell them to stop me and make sure I fail . My father was a sociopath who was sober 15 years before understanding that you have a motions and feelings . Who knew?
    He never meant to be the horrific jerk that he was in spite of being an addict he believed that his thinking was the only thinking that every person should have.
    And that is called insanity . He did not see right in front of his face. The thing that I hated as a child is that no matter how horrific my parents were in public they had not one clue as to what people are thinking.
    Plus when my friends parents would tell me that my kid can no longer play at your house .
    The New DSM-5 is trying to not recognize complex posttraumatic stress disorder.
    They only wish to acknowledge post traumatic stress disorder as a mental illness and all inclusive . Complex posttraumatic stress disorder is a complex illness and these doctors denying this is negligence on their part . My life is not defined as PTSD and the reason is that it is not. I have CPTSD what that means is that you can never define what I suffer from because you wish to believe that I do not exist and you people have never been right yet . It is a fact that I will never know what the trauma in my nervous system is about because your nervous system has no logic . The trauma that I suffer can never be defined and or discovered at all not possible because the memory for that trauma is complex .
    No therapist who is trained in therapy with people who suffer posttraumatic stress disorder is not qualified with people who suffer complex posttraumatic stress disorder because you were never taught . And you will tell your clients that they do not suffer from CPTSD because it does not exist. Meaning I am screwed because of your lack of knowledge again.
    My trauma therapist had a trauma therapist that she would visit right after every appointment with me .
    Are you Stupid the DSM-5 is wrong if you are in the business of helping people you need the training or you can not help and that should be your only Objective if you call yourself a professional .

    The police locked down my Elementary school inside and out no one under any circumstance is to leave the room that they are in this included the office in the staff room that were cleared and forced into the gym . I was told to go to the office all of this was so the police could speak with me .
    My parents did not believe that this happened to me because it happened to them .
    The police just took this pure evil man to the boarder they had my file and new everything about what this evil sick Freak did to me . The American authorities assured the police that this individual will never feel the sun on his body again that he will be confined to the basement at the prison for the rest of his life . The only way that he will leave that basement is after they zip up the body bag .
    My parents were horrific parents when it came to keeping me safe.
    They were always the victim even when I was buried alive .

    Reply
  57. Syris of Lemuria Posted on December 8, 2019 at 4:21 am

    The worst part about abuse and neglect, and the effects of it, is how people treat you and talk about you, like 'what's wrong with that person?', or 'they're weird'. Since they never saw/experienced the things that fucked you up inside, and so it must be your own fault for being that way… It really sets one up for failure in this society, and dealing with 'normal' people.

    Reply
  58. Emily L Posted on December 8, 2019 at 5:22 am

    This is my step father and it's kinda been really hard to love myself like so many times I get to a good place then it's difficult to fully embrace and love myself because I have nothing but doubt about who I am and the choices I make…

    Reply
  59. daniellea kuti Posted on December 8, 2019 at 5:49 am

    Sadly I learnt from an early age, just because they created you, doesn't mean they would ever have been '' ready ''

    Reply
  60. Julian I Posted on December 8, 2019 at 12:46 pm

    I live with my best friend and her girlfriend (weird living situation, but I'm a poor student in a new town) and over the months the way the girlfriend treats my friend has started to concern me. She is extremely negative. Like I have rarely see this woman smile or give a compliment to anyone. She has 0 friends because she generally likes nobody. And basically all she says is negative observations or covert insults to my friend and even me. She seems to think everything romantic, kind, affectionate is dumb and pathetic. If we watch a movie she'll laugh at my friend for crying. She'll make fun of the clothes she wears, how she acts, her interests. Quite sad to see, because my friend still adores her. My friend has been in abusive relationships before, maybe this is another one. I have no doubt this girlfriend loves my friend under all that toxic, defensive rudeness. I think she has an overwhelming fear of seeming soft or feminine. But at the same time it must hurt my friend so much. She has started to gain a lot of weight and lost many friends and hobbies.

    Reply
  61. Don't Mind Me Posted on December 8, 2019 at 11:14 pm

    my step-dad used to do this and sometimes physical abuse. when i told him i'd call the cops, he said they'd be on his side.

    Reply
  62. Don't Mind Me Posted on December 8, 2019 at 11:15 pm

    I'm crying. I don't want to cry anymore, but I'm crying.

    Reply
  63. Sam from 1999 Posted on December 9, 2019 at 9:17 am

    you know one of those type of emotional abuse where they treat you like shit and then a whole hour later they a different person and tryna be nice to you to make you get over what they did to you just barely

    Reply
  64. Noodle Bun diy Posted on December 9, 2019 at 4:48 pm

    I’m a teen my parent day I can’t hide secrets and they always wanna go threw my phone thinking I’m hiding somthing I can’t even have apps bacause they accuse me of things I don’t do I have no say in anything they say mean things it’s a long story

    Reply
  65. B4H Posted on December 9, 2019 at 6:09 pm

    I wish I saw this video 4 years ago

    Reply
  66. Mary A Posted on December 10, 2019 at 1:47 pm

    I’ve been degraded, controlled, neglected, and blamed/accused by some of my “friends”. It was awful. It only lasted a few months and luckily I got out of the situation, I believe I only got out by moving home

    Reply
  67. Natalie Goodfellow Posted on December 12, 2019 at 1:33 am

    When you grow up and realize that you were probably emotionally abused most of your life but you can’t do anything about it because no one would believe you because your abuser is ‘so nice’

    Reply
  68. FiNNiK Posted on December 12, 2019 at 11:26 pm

    Mom: "If you tell me the truth I won't get mad"
    Me: Tells the truth
    Mom: gets mad
    Me: 😮

    Reply
  69. FiNNiK Posted on December 12, 2019 at 11:28 pm

    My mom made me say sorry when she discovered I had cut myself but never said sorry for driving me to the point where I felt that it was necessary to self harm 😶

    Reply
  70. FiNNiK Posted on December 12, 2019 at 11:33 pm

    I was emotionally abused by a neglectful, absent father who is speculated to have BPD but is undiagnosed because he doesn't go to therapy and now suffers from depression due to divorce and his quickly deteriorating health, and an overly-protective, extremely narcissistic helicopter-mom with bipolar disorder. At the same time, they two were still married and fought literally every day.
    That was… Quite a ride.

    Reply
  71. Lil_Mis_Cringey Posted on December 14, 2019 at 4:03 am

    Is it bad that my mom classifies in everythibg on this list

    Reply
  72. goduskychris Chris Godusky Posted on December 16, 2019 at 4:59 am

    Yes I know this problem but it’s impossible to fix, my don’t care about me as a person anymore they put bad ideas in my head, Kate can you read my mind have you met my parents

    Reply
  73. Methotica Arts acrylic artist Posted on December 17, 2019 at 5:56 am

    Can you do emotional and even physical aggression when an adolescent/young adult is the aggressor ? Please? There is not enough research on child to parent violence

    Reply
  74. Chloe Stewart Posted on December 17, 2019 at 2:14 pm

    what if you are the one doing the emotional abuse, and how do you stop it?

    Reply
  75. Itz___mia Posted on December 18, 2019 at 1:02 am

    This video helped me calm down when I was crying. It's just that my mom yell at me and calls me names. She blame me for everything and say that I ruined her life. And well this video really helped.

    Reply
  76. Kim Stone Posted on December 18, 2019 at 4:33 pm

    So wish I'd seen this video A long time ago it would have saved me a lot of Heart ache

    Reply
  77. Lemon Animations Posted on December 18, 2019 at 5:07 pm

    I've been homeschooled since 2nd grade. I thought it would be great. Back in 6th grade (I'm in 11th grade now) I couldn't focus on anything. The way I'd have to teach myself is on my own. My parents wouldn't check my school work or grade it, there fore I didn't know what I was doing wrong. I'd mark off things I didn't understand. I recently got into a musical, my only social outlet. Musical theatre is my only social outlet to this day. When they found out that I wasnt learning anything, they grounded me, scolded me, and took me out of the show. They told me how I let down every one in the show and the directors. I felt so terrible, so terrible that I started cutting myself. They were the reason i started self harm. Skip to 9th grade, I tell them that I've self harmed myself. They immediately say that they'll take down my door and never let me take a shower by myself if I cut myself again. I got so scared that I thought of killing myself. Whenever I get in trouble for anything, theatre is the first thing to go. It's the only thing I have, and they know that. I'm stuck at home 24/7, they don't help me with school at all so I'm taking school into my own hands. I'm going to college early and trying to learn as much as I can to get out of this house. I'm sure they love me and they're doing what they think is right but they have no clue how much it emotionally effects me. Years of emotional abuse. Even when I was 7 years old and I'd make paper and cardboard crafts for my toys, they'd call it garbage and tell me to throw it away. They'd black bag my room if it got too messy (black bagging is where they take everything that's laying around, throw it in a black bag, and throw it away) many of my friends tell me to call someone but when I asked my therapist and my parents if calling CPS would be a good idea, they said no. So I'm just gonna push through these final 2 years and hopefully don't have more emotional damage. I'm sorry for this long comment, with strict parents and being home 24/7 it's hard to reach out to people and be able to vent. I only see my therapist once a month.

    Thank you for reading this, it means a lot to me

    Reply
  78. Anthony McNab Posted on December 19, 2019 at 12:29 am

    Thank you for this..

    Reply
  79. Anthony McNab Posted on December 19, 2019 at 12:29 am

    How do I deal with an emotionally abusive sibling?

    Reply
  80. Ed Zeppelin Posted on December 19, 2019 at 3:02 am

    I'm 31, disabled and on benefits (due to mental health issues directly caused by childhood abuse that extended into adulthood and never really stopped) and still to this day stuck living with my father who has and continues to do every single thing she listed here….only way he hasn't abused me is sexually. At least there's that. I've tried everything including running away and trying to live on my own (gvt doesn't give enough to sustain that) and even living on the street and in homeless shelters, but domestic violence shelters never take me because the person doing it is my father rather than someone I'm having sex with. Go figure… I often feel suicidal and just hopeless and really depressed and have been diagnosed with literally over a dozen different mental health conditions since age 13, including DID, PTSD, and many others. This prick even insults and abuses my other personalities, when they're the only ones that even truly love and care for me unlike him. I don't even truly hate him but know he won't stop. Even today at our group therapy (mandatory or he wouldn't go) at the methadone clinic we both go to (long story there for sure) he made an ass of himself in front of everyone and stormed out and everyone could see he was being an angry abusive jerk for no reason and I knew he would punish me for it later somehow and did, lost it in the supermarket at me suddenly telling me I "ruined everything", etc…He blames me for everything. Sometimes I think the only escape is death since I've tried everything else, even living in fucking CHINA (where I ended up literally being made a slave; I was preyed on at the homeless shelter too because I probably just don't have any goddamn sense by now)…. I know there's no help out there for me…he even controls all my money since he insisted on being my representative payee…which he finds ways to blame me for too of course. It's all such a sick fucking joke. Sorry I posted this here, I hope I don't get in trouble for it or something and that he doesn't see it or that people aren't mean about it but I just had to rant.

    Reply
  81. hafsa Fatima Posted on December 19, 2019 at 3:37 am

    Thanks a lot .. all these things are in our relationship.

    Reply
  82. Cally Konecki Posted on December 19, 2019 at 6:44 am

    When my parents tell at me and I cry they tell me to shut up and stop "fake crying" but then when I don't show emotion because I don't want to get yelled at more they call me a sociopath. I'm not a sociopath.

    Reply
  83. Bob Posted on December 19, 2019 at 8:57 am

    My family is the sign #2

    Reply
  84. artistic persona Posted on December 19, 2019 at 10:54 pm

    This woman explains really good

    Reply
  85. mis Posted on December 20, 2019 at 8:39 pm

    my older sister and i, (ages 14 and 16) have been physically neglected and emotionally neglected our whole lives. we're both very smart (not to brag), we do really well in school, i literally get straight a's in most of my subjects, especially English and maths, i ALWAYS get full marks, i do my homework all the time, all n all i'm an extremely good child (so is my sister) but my parents wont stop treating us like we're stupid, i always tell them facts about stuff, and get involved in adult conversations, but they call me fucking dumb. I've been dealing with bpd (borderline personality disorder) and anxiety for almost 5 years, but they wont take me to therapists, or do anything about it. they tell me that there's nothing wrong with me and that it will go away, and tell me to pray and read quran. BTW my sis and i, are both atheists, and we're both part of the LGBTQ+ community, but they have NO clue about it, they say that atheists and LGBTQ+ members have to be thrown off buildings, or burnt alive ect. that alone makes me cry, the other thing is, we're not allowed to have phones, not allowed to have hobbies (i used to play violin and do swimming) but they made me quit. ALSO they NEVER buy us clothes, shoes, or any of our needs, (skincare products, nail products, hair products,) HELL they wont even let us buy TAMPONS because We'Re noT MArrieD (aka we're virgins). I also refuse to wear hijab because I DONT WANT TO (no shit im atheist) and they keep on trying to force it on me (calling me a slut). IM NOT even allowed to tweeze my brows, dye my hair, REMOVE MY FUCKING MUSTACHE because im not marRIED. And i also tell them i want to be a cop or a detective or an FBI agent but THEY REFUSE because im a FEMalE And nOT A maLE. I honestly cant put up with their bullshit any FUCKING more. I keep on wanting to kill myself then telling myself its the wrong thing to do, but honestly, i dont think theres wrong or right.
    Thank you SO much for reading if u made it this far, please help me? tell me what to do pleasee.
    BTW i live in iraq atm, ive lived in the UK for few years (2013-2018).

    also i dont wanna be annoying but can u like? so ppl can find my comment and give me advice or tell me their story so i wont feel alone.

    Reply
  86. killer_ god Posted on December 20, 2019 at 10:24 pm

    The sign 1 happening to me and sign 3 heppning to me and its even when im big now…. 4 is actually happened sometimes and my mother hurt me too much that its hurts so much i can take it and i actually hit her because she can't stop and she yalling at me day and night i cant take it anymore. I hope someone could help me

    Reply
  87. Soumia Moujane Posted on December 21, 2019 at 8:20 pm

    Hi I have suffered from being jealous and envious around the women my age. And I stopped going to social events where I felt small and like a child around them. My family belited me when I was young and done my clothes shopping and controlled my life. And controlled my money and spending. I realised I have panic attacks, nightmares, bad dreams and feel sweaty and hyperventilating and flashbacks. When I was around them. As I was mollicoddled by my family as a child. And they weren't. Now in my adulthood I can't stop reliving my childhood as I was mollicoddled and my family didn't have any belief that I can do anything and they use to call me horrible names associated with my health. And my family say I can't do things for myself and made my decisions for me. And I avoid places and the women my age that bring on memories and flashbacks and nightmares and trembling. And my family didn't let me grow up. And every time I go to a social event where the women my age are I end up having a panic attack at nights after the event when I am a sleep

    Reply
  88. TROIKO sksksk Posted on December 22, 2019 at 3:02 am

    My dad made fun of me for cutting myself

    Reply
  89. Candyfloss gacha Posted on December 22, 2019 at 11:48 am

    My mum always tells me to stop fake crying when I’m having a genuine mental breakdown when I need comfort.

    Reply
  90. Charles Ravin Posted on December 23, 2019 at 6:07 am

    I have a emotional abusive mom and dad. More of it comes from my mom cause my dad is never home. My mom had threaten to beat me before and sometimes when me and her are arguing she starts to make a fist and I can tell she is about to hit me. I go quiet when she says or does things that can lead to abuse. No one knows about it cause she only does those things when I am alone with her. Should I tell someone? I don’t want to tell someone in fear of being separated from my sister or people not doing any thing and it getting worse. I just don’t feel safe at home.

    Reply
  91. Huma Ali Posted on December 24, 2019 at 12:09 am

    As a growing teenage girl having an emotional abusive mother was the most soul crushing, painful thing I have EVER experienced & will most likely never recover x

    Reply
  92. Sarah Pancieri Posted on December 24, 2019 at 4:32 am

    You just described my parents. Thanks.

    Reply
  93. Angie Jones Posted on December 24, 2019 at 6:38 am

    Omg have been emotionally abusive! Is it because of my own mess of a life!

    Reply
  94. H M Posted on December 25, 2019 at 9:22 am

    My parents haven’t emotionally abused me but my older sister definitely has throughout my childhood, I never realized that it was emotional abuse. But at the same time, my sister was and still is emotionally abused by my father.

    Reply
  95. Hello Moto Posted on December 26, 2019 at 6:30 am

    Pls tell us your hair care routine girl. Also I really appreciate this video. Eye opening, sadly

    Reply
  96. Aurora H Posted on December 27, 2019 at 6:15 am

    I get treated like this by everyone in my life. I'm pregnant now so it's very stressful.

    Reply
  97. taylor_twin_2 aiello Posted on December 27, 2019 at 7:03 pm

    How do you make a comment private My mom treats me like a dog and if I say im not a dog she says im not treating you like one go sit over there now. She also talks bad about me when people are over. Im 13 she buys me fancy clothes and I don't like dressing up I like wearing comfy clothes. I said gn love you after a little argument ant 11;30pm I wanted to sleep she replied yep. Then throws all her problems on me. She tries to make me like a younger version of her and make me fix all her mistakes when she was younger. I cant say anything about it because if I say something she will say what a liar this isn't true. If you wanna go live with someone else go ahead. Then she asks why im always in my room. she was like 45 minutes late to pick me up from a club. I don't think my dad deserves her but what do I know im just a child. but I don't want them to brake up they've been married from 2001

    Reply
  98. Baja Chicken Posted on December 27, 2019 at 9:17 pm

    This is my mother exactly. Know that I am an adult and realize how she treated me. I am truly disgusted. I pray for children who grow up emotionally abused.

    Reply
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