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Eli Jaxon Bear, May Webcast: The ID: Do Animal drives fuel your life or direct it?

Welcome. Your eyes open and you seem to return to awareness
of being in a body. What if you don’t hold it–what if it just
passes like a shadow? This is the third part of our 3-part series
on the Nature of the Self. We started at the top with the superego, the
judge, the conversation about what’s wrong, what needs to be fixed, what needs correction. And then we went to the middle level of the
doer, the planner, the dreamer, what Freud calls ‘the ego.’ I’ve been using Freud’s general division of
these: superego, ego, and now today we’re going to examine what he called ‘id.’ ‘Id’ simply, in German, is ‘it.’ So in Freud’s view of the–what he calls the
self–there’s the judge, the doer, and it lives in the basement. In Freud’s view, from his egoic fixation as
a sexual 6, this id in the basement is a dark hairy polymorphous perverse beast that, if
ever let out, would run amuck–and so there’s a strong need for a strong superego that stands
at the basement door and keeps it shut. Keeps this mess, this sexual seething, in
the basement. That’s Freud’s view. So far I changed a little what the superego
is and we’ve looked at our nature of the doer very differently. Now let’s look at id a little differently
as well. It is our animal nature. In Freud’s view, in those days, humans weren’t
really animals–humans were something separate, something different. Something beyond animal. But now, we know better. We’ve been enlightened to the truth that we
are just another primate. That we lost our tails when the…all the
great apes lost their tails in the genetic mutation maybe nine million years ago. So as a primate, as an animal, we have a certain
animal nature. And this animal nature is what drives the
form. These are the three drives of the animal. Every animal has these drives: First, the
drive to survive. This drive to survive starts at the single-cell
level. Without an urge to survive, you perish. You don’t eat. You don’t find shelter or safety. You don’t figure out where the food is, just
give up and die. So from the one-cell on to us is this will
to survive. That’s our basic animal drive. The second animal drive that we share with
all other creatures is the drive to relate, to be social, to be part of a group, part
of a family, part of a tribe. Part of a herd, part of a hive. That’s a survival drive, translated now into
relationship with supposed other. And together, as a team, as a tribe, as a
hive, we survive. And the third animal drive is sexual drive,
the drive to create others, to pass it on so the DNA lives from one body to the next. So it’s genetic drive to be sexual, to pass
it on, to recreate. To procreate. And so now, if we look at these, the difference
so far, I’d say, between the superego, the ego and this animal drive, is that the animal
drives are non-reflective impulses. If you’re hungry, you grab it. There’s no mediation between the hunger and
the grabbing. It’s an impulse; it’s non-reflective. Superego is quite reflective. It has a whole story and a judgment based
on that story of what should be and what is and what’s perfect and what isn’t. And so it’s continually reflecting itself
through that story of judgment and blame. The egoic self is also reflective, also is
reflective through a story of itself, through who it says it is, who its relationships are,
what its work is in the world, what its family is. That’s a story that’s created as a self-reflective
device for the egoic ‘I.’ These lower drives are inherently non-self-reflective;
they’re impulses. And so Freud’s attempt to control them is
to have a strong superego and this is the function of the church, is to create a morality
so that the animal will behave. Socialization of the animal drives. So I’d like us to just for a moment try an
experiment ’cause we’re gonna find that one of these drives in us is stronger than the
others. And the drive that really runs our machine
sets the stage for the other drives. So if self-preservation is your motivating
drive, social and sexual activities and objects and people will appear in the arena of self-preservation. If, on the other hand, social is the drive,
then the social milieu–the family, the tribe, the group–is where self-preservation issues
will show up or sexual issues will show up. And if it’s a sexual impulse that runs the
drive, then that creates the arena so that everything is eroticized to a degree–self-preservation,
social, are all in service to the eroticized, the sexual impulse. And you know, we can see the social impulse
if we look at our closest relatives: chimpanzees. And you can see they live in groups. They relate, they have hierarchies, they have
social relationships, they groom each other, they take care of each other, they fight with
each other. They’re in relationship–that’s the social
drive. You can see it in the gorillas, our next closest
relatives. Clans, families, nurturing each other, protecting
each other, being in hierarchies. Part of the social drive. When the social drive gets so extreme, we
see it in hives. Consider a bee hive. Sex? Not much of a big deal–it’s just for the
queen and only once a year. So sex is not running it. Self-preservation? Each individual is willing to die in service
of the whole. That’s why a bee stinger, when a bee stings
you, it dies. It’s giving its life to protect the whole. That’s the social drive that has its primacy. Sexual drive, it’s really interesting. Little anecdotal stories about the sexual
drive: I saw a great experiment that was done with fruit flies where they took a fruit fly,
took a female fruit fly and took the segment of the DNA that was sexually encoded and spliced
it i–and when this female fruit fly was released into a container with another female fruit
fly, it started a courtship. It started by rubbing its wings and making
a song, which is what male fruit flies do to attract females. And when the song was accepted by a female,
it came closer and touched its knee, which is another signal of imminent bonding. If the knee touch is rejected, well, then
it’s waiting for someone else; if the knee touch is accepted, then this female fly–the
male fly–then licks the genitals of the female fly. This was all done as if it were a male fly
because it had a little segment of DNA spliced into its genes. So when we as humans do it, we have a whole
story about it, we have a whole romantic serenade, romantic first touching, romantic first kissing. And we have a whole drama, a romance, that
gets built into it. But it’s simply like a fruit fly. Another example of that is an animal creature
called a vole that lives in the western United States and these voles live in burrows in
the prairie and they also live in woodlands. And it turns out that the prairie vole is
monogamous and stays and helps to raise the children. The woodland vole is not monogamous and doesn’t
stay around the nest once the baby’s born, it leaves. Very different behaviors. And yet when they switched the sexual genetics
between these two, they switched their behaviors. And the one that used to be monogamous left
the nest and the one that used to leave the nest stayed and helped raise the children. So we’re wired in certain ways. And each one of us is wired with one of these
drives in primacy that runs the show. And the others follow suit. The others show up in the arena of self-preservation
or in the arena of sexual activity or in the arena of the family. So let’s try a little experiment. We’re gonna try a guided meditation to discover
this for ourselves: So if you would like to just take a moment to get comfortable, put
down any extra objects that are in your hands, letting yourself settle in…and you might
notice the body’s breathing…and you might notice that by noticing it, it changes. And that’s a signal…that you can drop inside…to
an altered state…from your normal waking consciousness. Your eyes can stay open or closed, it doesn’t
matter. But you might now become aware of a very subtle
sensation, deep inside, and that’s a signal that you’re already deeper than the conscious
mind knows. And I don’t know how it is for you to be so
completely relaxed that the mind can stop…sensations turn inward…and you find yourself falling
into a deep empty space. So just for a moment, what if in this moment
you drop your sexual identity–in other words, what if in this moment no one looks at you
sexually, you don’t look at anyone else as a sexual object, all your sexual fantasies
stop, if you pull yourself out of the sexual arena, as an experiment in this moment. Some people, this won’t mean anything at all;
for others, it’s the core–something very deep. And maybe you’re not aware, when you’re walking
down the street, of how others look at you. But in this moment, what if you stop seeing
anyone as a sexual object and what if you are invisible to everyone else as a sexual
object? Let that experience deepen as an experiment
to see what’s left. And what if you have no social safety net,
in this moment, as an experiment? What if you have no parents, no siblings,
no partner, husbands or wives, no children? Just examine where you’re attached. No workers. Examine where you’re connected. No friends. And let it stop for this moment, as an experiment. Completely alone…with no one to connect
to…no one to relate with. What’s that experience? And now, are you willing to stop all worries
about money, all discussions about money, rent, mortgage, food, all worries, all discussions,
all fantasies, and all your relationships that are based on security–you can acknowledge
that they’re here and let them stop in this moment. Let money stand for survival and let it disappear
this moment, as an experiment. If you have nothing. That’s really good. This is the place to begin. To discover who you are. When it’s not being run by any animal drive. Find out: What are you? If you’re not a sexual object or a social
object or survival is not the issue. That’s really good. And so now, this experiment is going to change
its form. This inquiry can continue, this investigation
into yourself can continue all through the day and night till it’s finally concluded
in certainty. But for now, let’s let body awareness return. The sense of the body’s breathing…sense
of your hands and feet …sense of being in a body. And if your eyes were closed, they can open
and you can see freshly. Without the veils: security, relationship
and sex. That’s very good. So it’s not about getting rid of these drives. They’re normal. They’re natural. As an animal, you have these drives. We all have them. I have them. Quite naturally. The difference is: Who’s running the show? To what degree is your life based on survival? To what degree is your life based on your
relationships? And to what degree is it based on sex? Just examine this for yourself. There’s no right or wrong. But the issue is to see: Is there a point
where you’re not willing to go further–because there’s some story around survival, relationship
or sex? Because we use a story to justify our own
limitation–self-betrayal–by giving the drive the lead, letting it run the show. But when a drive runs the show, we never say,
‘Oh, that’s my self-survival, that’s my fear of survival, that’s why I’m working here,
that’s why I’m in relationship with you, that’s why I want this house’–we always have a very
elaborate story to cover it so it’s socially acceptable: ‘It’s not my fear of survival,
it’s because I like you, I like being around you, it makes me feel good, I like doing things
for you, makes me feels good.’ And so that’s the story we tell ourselves
when perhaps, underneath that story, is the survival drive running. And perhaps if the survival drive is running,
on the surface, we’re betraying ourselves. Maybe that’s not really what I want to be
doing. Maybe I don’t really want to be in relationship
with you right now. Maybe if I stay true to my heart, something
different and unknown will appear. That’s threatening. That threatens all the drives. But when the drives surrender, when even your
drive to survive surrenders to your Self–to the Truth of your Self–then even these drives
become in service. You ride them. These are your windhorse. Padmasambhava was the first Tibetan Buddhist
to speak of the windhorse. And this is what your windhorse is: your animal
nature that you ride to liberation. And after liberation, you ride in Freedom. Without being a slave to it. And sometimes it’ll catch you. I’ve been caught. I know. But even when you’re caught, it’s not that
you’re caught by ‘Oh, now I need to be secure,’ some elaborate story will come in to justify
whatever it is that’s appearing, that’s catching you. So that’s when we have to be vigilant with
ourselves. Just tell the truth to ourselves. It’s not about telling the truth to anyone
else–just to ourselves. To be honest with ourselves. That’s where mindfulness is. You know, people want to be mindful but you
can’t be mindful by trying to be mindful. You have to find the root of mindfulness. And the root of mindfulness is no-mind. If you trace mindfulness back to its root,
there’s no mind. And when no-mind is the ground consciously,
this is mindfulness. In action. Quite mysteriously. But as long as there’s a mind trying to be
mindful, this is confusion. This is one of the drives running unacknowledged
and being used to rationalize and justify a story to keep the egoic mind alive. Well, I hope this was useful. I’d love to hear your feedback and I’d love
to hear your questions, comments or reports. So let’s see if anybody’s… okay, Michael,
Mikey’s called in. Germany. Hello, Eli? Hello, Michael. Hello, I couldn’t wait to hear you and I’m
still amazed that I have the possibility to be with you here and thank you for the topic. It’s…it has really to do with me and what
a relief not to follow this…yeah, this actual, this huge and also social issue for me. And I want to tell you something about my
world and when I have sex, for example, or intense feelings, I feel my body and it feels
really alive and so the same is when I eat good things or I’m in social groups and a
really good day is when all of the aspects come together in one day and continue the
whole week, you know, so addicted to being seen from others, being heard from them, being
realized from them, and not to be alone. It’s running away from being alone and it’s
directing me with all, with sex, relations, work, thinking, eating and because when I’m
alone, there’s this emptiness and boringness, like I need the outside to see myself or that
I even use it not to feel my hopelessness. So this week and also today, I’m really alone
and consequence of loneliness, there’s body tense and a pressure on my chest then I start
thinking a lot of shit, judging myself, others that feel better than me, or that have more
in this moment like me, but I try not to think so bad and searching some reflection and…and
deeply I got it that I won’t to find it anymore in the outside and that’s very sad because
I love life and body pleasures too, so it’s really pity that someday all will end but
at the same time I recognize the suffering of this, you know. So here I am in this despair that scares me
because it feels more and more like a depression and I’m afraid of that I will fall down and
lose the joy of life. But can I ask you: How can I bear my loneliness
without being anymore a slave of my animal body but also not to negate it, you know? So confusion for me–I’m not the body but
I love to be the body, I love to be sexual, I love to be animal sometimes, you know, this… Sure. That’s not the problem. There’s no problem with being the animal. There’s no problem with being sexual. There’s no problem with enjoying life. I love to cook. I love to eat. I love to garden. I love making love. I love life. I love this human incarnation. I do. That’s not what it’s about. You know better. Cause you know you’re hiding from meeting
your Self, from being alone. Thing is, that’s why it doesn’t work for you. That’s why all the pleasures–all the good
eating, good sex–it feels good at the moment, but it doesn’t last. There’s always a hunger for more. A need for more. A need for different. And yet, as you say, you’re kind of sad about
losing it, you’re afraid you’re going to lose something. And so that’s what keeps you suffering. So there’s not a full willingness to really
find what’s beyond. And when you find what’s beyond, then you
actually can begin living. Instead of a frantic chasing. And a running away from emptiness. Yeah, running away from emptiness and running
away from life, you know. It’s both. That’s right. And it’s not really enjoying, it’s not…like
you said, it’s not really …I do all this stuff, but it’s not really living. Yes. That’s it. This is wisdom speaking. So since wisdom speaks with your mouth, you
can’t make the excuse that you’re ignorant. No. So put it down. Put down your ignorant things. You know better. Then life will begin. Then you’ll discover causeless Joy. It doesn’t mean that pleasures and joys don’t
appear. Of course they do. As they do now. They appear and disappear. I said I love to cook and sometimes I burn
the food. What to do. Comes and goes. I love to garden. Sometimes I do it right and sometimes I don’t. So what. I love the act of gardening. But it’s not what lasts. But what lasts informs my gardening. It informs the cooking. It informs everything. It informs lovemaking. This is true lovemaking. When it’s informed by the Truth of your Self–not
by needing and wanting and chasing and running. What can I do to stay on this point, you know? First you tell the truth about where you’re
not willing to, where you think you’re gonna lose something, as you said earlier: ‘Well,
you know, it’s like, I don’t know, I don’t wanna give it up, it feels good’–that part. You be ruthlessly honest with yourself there
and see, is it serving you? Yeah. Yeah. You’re right. Yeah, you’re right. It’s so clear when you speak with me. Yes. It’s so clear. It’s so clear because the wisdom is already
within you. But you have a good propaganda machine in
you–you were willing to fool yourself with it. So now that has to stop. You know better. You know I’m fed up with all this. But. But this ‘but.’ The ‘but’ is the problem. Yes. Okay. Okay. Good. Thank you. Thank you, Michael. Very clear. It’s good to hear you. Thank you. Good to connect. You too. Thank you so much. Okay, Debra. From the U.S. Hi, Eli. Can you hear me? I can. I really appreciated your meditation and,
excuse me, I’m also a social fixation and when you, yeah, your meditation was really
medicine when you said, for the social fixation, ‘no one to relate to.’ And something you said before that brought
up a huge amount of fear and I just tried to open to it and then when…when I let in
‘no one to relate to’–it just felt like this freedom that I had never experienced before. Like all of a sudden, I wasn’t like trying
to relate to the world around me, like I could just be myself. Yes. I think you would use the example of, like,
no parents, no children, no one that I was, yeah, trying to be in relationship with, you
know. Yes. Yeah, there was just such a huge sense of
freedom that came over me and I just wanted to say thank you because actually one of my
social issues came up last week and I’ve really been seeing my…this drive, like it’s really
been rearing its ugly head. And yeah, I just really felt the freedom in
that moment, like I hadn’t so I just want to say thank you for that. I’m so glad, Debra. that’s it. That’s the secret. All you need is one instant of that discovery
of Freedom. When you know there’s no longer any obligation
to anyone else, you don’t have to be someone’s daughter or someone’s mother or someone’s
partner–you don’t have to be anything but yourself. All you need is that one instant. And then you stay true to that no matter what. You honor that. You don’t go back. You stay true to your Self. That’s beautiful. I’m so glad. That’s such good news, Debra. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you for the medicine and yeah, thank
you for that meditation. It was deeply relaxing. I’m so glad to know ’cause it’s hard to know
just sitting here in a chair. All alone. ‘No one to relate to.’ No one to tell me if it’s good or not. Thank you, Debra. Okay, Hillary’s next from Australia. Your meditation, it opened something to me
with…I see a relationship that I’m…you know. I’ve been grasping at and the freedom of knowing
if I just let this go and be whatever it is, even if it doesn’t happen or it does happen,
if I just let it be just as it is–I don’t feel the suffering, I don’t give myself to
suffering… Yes. And I found a great freedom in that. Good. It’s just…it opens me so much to just to
be myself. Yes. To not [?…] Yes. To not grasp for anything. To not… Nothing, nothing at all. Yes. No grasping. No grasping. Yes. The sexual side, of course, came up for me. The sex [?…] and the sexualness of it. And it doesn’t seem to matter so much now. Yes, of course it’s there. It’s like, still gardening. And…but it’s not as strong. I’m very grateful. Good. I know there’s work around it. I accept that. Good. But just the realization, just a glimpse of
knowing I don’t have to go into that suffering. Yes. I can just be me and accept me and if the
other being doesn’t want to accept me as I am–that has to be all right. Yes. That’s beautiful, Hillary. Thank you, Eli. I’m so glad. It is so important. Grasping. It’s like, I don’t know if it’s true or not,
but I know that the mythology is that you can catch a monkey by putting something into
a jar and it reaches in and grabs it and once it has a fist, it can’t pull its fist out
of the jar. Then you catch it. That’s this grasping that won’t let go. So we give up our monkey nature for a moment. And we don’t grasp anything. When you’re open, there’s no grasping–the
whole universe is yours. As soon as you grasp one thing, it all slips
between your fingers and it’s gone. That’s the mystery. If we don’t grasp anything, it’s all ours. If we grasp anything, it all disappears. That’s the nature of maya. So thank you, Hillary. Grasping–essential. I’m so glad, glad that this was useful. So I recommend that you investigate this for
yourself over these coming days. Start to notice what seems like just natural
action and see if it’s fixated or not. Is it being run by survival? Is it being run by the social drive? Is it being run by the sexual drive? Not to change it, not to fight with it. See, Freud’s version is you need strong morality
police to keep guard on it, to keep it repressed, under wraps, under chains. It’s not that. It’s really making peace with yourself. Just telling the truth to yourself so that
you can meet yourself. So that when these impulses arise, they’re
not strangers. They’re not running without reflection. You’re bringing reflective consciousness to
the animal. That’s beautiful. It’s part of our growing up. To put away our childish things. Our childish things are our monkey grasping. Our childish things are our mindless participation. Mindless participation always has a story
justifying it. Just overhear yourself. Hear what you’re saying to yourself. Hear what you’re thinking. Just notice it. And notice what is its source? Where’s it coming from? Is it coming from No-mind? Is it coming from Love? Is it coming from Purity? This is obvious if it is. And it’s your Nature. And you love yourself even more deeply. Trust yourself. You can be yourself. And if you overhear yourself and you hear
some story justifying, rationalizing, you laugh at it. It’s not bad or wrong. But laugh at it. Laugh at yourself. When we can laugh at ourselves, it’s kind
of bliss. If we take ourselves seriously–suffering. So the difference between complete respect
for yourself and not taking yourself seriously, it’s the difference between Freedom and bondage. Thank you for being here. Thank you for tuning in. Thank you for your willingness, for you own
inner wisdom that can hear this, make sense of it, stay true to it. This is…we are the same Heart. Same Love. The same Truth. May It spread from heart to heart. So all beings can be free. Thank you.

Robin Kshlerin



  1. Monkey Mutant Boss Posted on May 24, 2016 at 6:24 am

    He would know seeing as he likes his extramarital affairs…

  2. Martin Kieninger Posted on May 24, 2016 at 9:07 pm

    very clear, guides to the roots of attachment and the posibility to release, thanks Eli, I conect very well โ€ฆ.very usefulโ€ฆโ€ฆfor my daily practice ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. El Ka Posted on May 26, 2016 at 10:07 am

    The guided meditation was very helpful. Especially since you elaborated on the different instincts beforehand. Thank you very much ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. Space2b Posted on June 1, 2016 at 10:59 am

    thank you! very inspiring inquiry.

  5. George Posted on June 5, 2016 at 2:24 pm


  6. ted Posted on June 22, 2016 at 4:21 am


  7. Daisy Hemmerle Posted on May 23, 2018 at 3:26 am

    amazing…. you make it so clear

  8. Janina O Posted on January 25, 2020 at 12:25 pm

    Thank you and please go on with this for the world : ) Hugs from germany!

  9. mesfin dagnew Posted on February 5, 2020 at 3:33 pm

    i love you so much. thank you! thank you! your videos are priceless for me. thank you sir