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Eli Jaxon Bear, October 15, 2016 webcast: Who’s Making Love? Sex and Spirituality

Episode 6: ‘Who’s Making Love: Sex and Spirituality’:
We’re looking at a true issue in our community which almost never gets addressed. Religion addresses it through morals and we’ve
all seen through that. Culture addresses it and as the culture addresses
it, the definitions change and what’s appropriate changes. We know that in ancient Greece, sexuality
had completely different relationships than it does now. So we’re gonna look first at this making love
because the problem of calling it ‘making love’ is really a core issue in our community. And as I said, that the Persians have many
names for different kinds of love, just like the Eskimos had different names for the different
kinds of snow. So if we didn’t have the names the Eskimos
did, you’d just see snow. But if you have all these fine distinctions,
you see something deeper. You see something more complex. And so if the Persians have a different name–and
let’s say we had a different name for the love between a mother and a child, and a different
name for the love between siblings, and a different name for the love between lovers,
and a different name for the love between secret lovers, which the Persians have–if
we had a different name for all the different qualities of what we call loving relationships,
that would bring enormous clarity. But we have it all lumped into this generic
‘love’ word. And making love. Now I came out of the 60s, as many of you
on this call did, and if you didn’t, you know about it. We had free love and we had ‘make love, not
war.’ And we did. And I did. And we all made love with each other. Except what was made was pleasure, for sure;
we all had a lot of pleasure–it felt good. Babies often, families often, and almost always
suffering. No love was made. Pleasure, babies, families, suffering. Why is that–if we were making love, we weren’t
living loving lives–why weren’t we living in happiness and love if we were making love
all the time? Maybe we weren’t making love. So we know that the purpose–I asked my Teacher
once, I said, ‘Papaji, what’s the purpose of sex?’ He said, ‘To make babies.’ I said, ‘Well, why’s it feel so good?’ He said, ‘So you’ll do it.’ And that is so simple and clear and true. And so what happens is, we are run by our
genes. What we find pleasant, what we find unpleasant,
is all genetic. What we like, what we don’t like, what we’re
attracted to, the desire to make babies…it’s all genetic. Because the genes are programmed to pass on–we
are mortal, but the genes are relatively immortal; the genes that are living in each one of our
cells have been passed on since the cosmic sea, since the one-celled creatures. It’s the same DNA. It grows, it changes, it modifies–but it’s
the same. So the DNA has this impulse to reproduce and
we are the vehicles for the reproduction of DNA. So why is it that it feels so good so that
we’ll do it? And why is it that when we make love, when
we have sex, there’s a bonding that can happen? So in my experience, in the moment of orgasm
there’s an openness–you’re blown open in that moment–and when both partners are blown
open, there’s a possibility of emotional limbic bonding. And when that happens, it’s called ‘falling
in love.’ When we fall in love with someone, we’re not
falling in love with the person that’s there, we’re falling in love with our projection
onto that person. What we see. We see their beauty. We see their…whatever it is that we love…we
see their body or their…whatever it is we find lovable and attractive is what we will
see. And as we’ve all had the experience, after
falling in love wears off, the [other] person shows up. And you had no idea. There’s someone else here with different ideas,
different attitudes, different beliefs, different tastes–and very different from the one that
you thought you fell in love with! And often that’s when relationships break
up. The point of the projection for the genetics
is that we will mate and have a baby. And then, if we’re having limbic bonding,
we’ll stay together long enough to raise the baby. That’s the genetic scheme: Have babies, stay
together, raise the babies. Then you can die and the babies will grow
up, have babies, stay together and die. That’s the purpose: To have family. The purpose to have family is to reproduce
genetics. And then we put our whole cultural overlay
on that. We romanticize it; we call it ‘falling in
love.’ And I had someone recently say to me, ‘You
know, I’m so open when I make love with the man, I’m truly there, and I feel betrayed
over and over again and I don’t understand why. It’s very simple. Because you’re calling it making love. But you’re not making love–you’re having
sex. It may feel good. It may be pleasurable. There may be some emotional bonding in it. And that emotional bonding can be broken. And when it’s broken, it’s painful. And this is where the suffering comes from. When we break the emotional bonds of the limbic
brain, it causes us pain and it causes pain to both ends of the emotional connection. That’s where our suffering comes from. So cheating: different cultures deal with
sexual cheating, of course, in different ways. In some cultures, you get stoned to death. And the reason you would get stoned to death
if you have cheating is because you need to establish paternity so that the man knows
he’s bringing food home to his genes. They call it ‘his child, his daughter, his
son’–it’s his genes. That’s the point. I am passing on my genes, I will protect my
genes, I want my genes to grow and to pass it on to their genetic offspring. And so since it’s all about the genes, paternity
is really important. In some cultures, you get stoned to death. There’s a beautiful movie that Richard Attenborough
does, or is it David Attenborough? One of those brothers. Those great nature films. And one of them, he does the life of birds. And there’s an English Barn Swallow that’s
supposed to be monogamous but cheats. When the partner isn’t around, the female’ll
have other lovers, other sex partners. When the male comes back, he pecks at her
sex organs until she ejects the semen of the one she just had sex with. Then he’ll mount her, make sure his semen
is inside of her. That’s all about making sure you’re taking
care of your own babies. But since the one she cheated with thinks
it’s his, he’ll also provide food to the nest. And so this is a genetic advantage. In cheating, she’s bringing in multiple fathers
to provide for her children, which is a genetic advantage. And he’s making sure it’s his by pecking at
her until she ejects the semen. The brilliance of nature. One of the most interesting cultural patterns
around sex that I’ve seen is in a book called ‘Don’t Sleep, There Are Snakes.’ It’s a book about a tribe in the Amazon, a
tribe that hasn’t been contacted much that is still living basically, they’ve been living
for a thousand years. A missionary goes to this tribe because they
want to get a dictionary of their language in order to write a bible to convert them. In his ten years of studying them to try to
figure their language out ’cause it’s really unique, he ends up realizing that they have
a better life than any Christian he knows, happier and better-adjusted, and he gives
up Christianity. But along the way, while he’s learning from
them, one day he goes into his friend’s house and his friend is lying with his head in his
partner’s lap and when he tries to pick his head up, his friend’s wife has him by the
hair and pulls him back down and laughs and hits him with a little club. Not to hurt him–but just to hit him. And laughs. They both laugh. And it turns out he made love with another
woman and this happens a lot in this tribe; sometimes it doesn’t matter, it just gets
passed over, but if it does matter, in this case it did, she holds him all day in her
lap–and every time he tries to move, she hits him. Sometimes in the face, sometimes in the body,
not to hurt him, but just hit him, and they both laugh. And after a day of this, it’s over. And they go on about their lives. So that’s the way one culture deals with cheating
or infidelity. Our monogamy or our lack of monogamy is genetic. Some creatures are genetically wired for monogamy
and others aren’t. But what’s interesting is there was a study
done with…in the western United States there’s a creature called the vole, which lives in
little prairie holes in the ground. And there are two kinds of voles: there are
mountain voles and there are prairie voles. One of those is monogamous and the male will
stay around and help to raise the family. The other one, not monogamous. The male does not stick around and doesn’t
raise the family. Two different subsets of the same species. When they took the genetic information from
one and put it into another, it switched: the one that was monogamous was no longer
monogamous; the one that wasn’t monogamous became monogamous. It was a genetic piece of DNA that made the
difference. So some of us are wired for monogamy, some
of us aren’t. But it becomes a morality issue rather than
an emotional issue. Morality has nothing to do with it. It’s really about not causing pain. Not causing suffering. I was just in a group recently and I asked
the people in the group: ‘Everybody who’s ever masturbated, stand up.’ The whole group stood up. I said: ‘If you’ve ever had sex with more
than one partner, stand up.’ The whole group stood up. A hundred years ago, nobody would admit it,
if they did. And most of them hadn’t. This has changed because the culture has changed. I also asked them: ‘How many people have had
partners that were the same sex?’ Many people stood up. Your sexual orientation is also genetic. And you know the culture: Most cultures celebrate
genetic cultural sexual diversity; in some cultures the gay men are considered closer
to the spirit and have different gifts. Our culture the Christians tried to change
it behaviorally. But it’s genetic. And we know that now and we accept it. So that’s a huge change in our society, in
our cultural understanding. But really what does this have to do with
anything–is that it’s all made up. Everything we’ve laid on top of this genetic
reproduction is the story we tell about it and different cultures tell different stories
and have different outcomes. So my partner and I, when we first started–this
is our fortieth year together, fortieth anniversary; neither of us ever expected that–when our
relationship first started, we were…we met at a party in Berkeley, 1975. I was 28 years old. I was living with a woman; we had an open
relationship. And she brought her lover to this party. And he brought a date. And so I certainly wanted to make love with
his date. And so I did my courting, courtship ritual,
my plumage display: I followed her around the party, reciting my poetry. And she didn’t get it. And she said–what, you know, this kid in
overalls, looks like Jerry Garcia in overalls, following her around, reciting poetry that
she didn’t understand. But in those days, it was almost like everyone
was making love. Everyone was making love and so we had sex
and it was very good. And our sexual relationship brought us together
initially. And then it deepened. And then she fell in love. And eventually I fell in love. And the great good luck of our relationship
is that we didn’t match each other’s ideal. I am not what she would be looking for in
a man in any way. Size, shape, personality, appearance. And she’s not what I would’ve been looking
for. And I wasn’t looking for a mate. I was…I knew I wasn’t going to have children. I was a confirmed bachelor, you could say. I was very happy living a solitary life. I was on a mission–I was on a spiritual mission
and I didn’t want to be dragged down. I didn’t want to have to carry someone else
along with me. I didn’t want to have kids. I didn’t want to have a relationship. I was one-pointed in my direction. But when I fell in love, and when she fell
in love, we fell in love as something deeper than the surface: it wasn’t her body that
I fell in love with, although it was beautiful; it wasn’t her personality–it was her soul. I could see her soul through her eyes–and
she saw mine. And that’s how we stayed together for forty
years. Our bodies have changed. Our personalities have changed. We’ve had our ups and downs. We’ve tried an open relationship and what
was interesting in the open relationship–I was, of course, the one who promoted it–is
that when she would go out and have a lover, I would feel jealous. I didn’t want to. I knew that was not politically correct, I
mean, I promoted open relationship, I wanted her to do it so I could do it. But I could feel the pain of her having sex
with somebody else. That was the first inkling that I had that
there was something deeper going on here. That it was a limbic emotional connection
that was not in the consciousness mind. So that even through conscious mind, I knew
better than to feel jealous, I felt jealous anyway. So that was our first clue, you could say. And as our relationship matured, as our partnership
matured, really, you know, people talk about working on their relationship, I don’t know
what that means. But I know that we were willing to tell the
truth to each other. And in being willing to tell the truth to
each other, as hard as it would be, it allowed something deeper to open. And what we would notice is: if we were starting
to carry resentments, we’d build up a story that we weren’t telling the other one, but
that we would talk to ourselves. You know what I’m talking about. You wouldn’t say it out loud but you kinda
feel it and think it. And then hide it. And then make-believe it’s not there. Well, when that would build up, there’d be
friction and the fights would happen, never about that, but about something inconsequential. And the inconsequential fights were a signal
there’s something else going on here. So we’d sit down together and we’d uncover
it, we’d tell the truth to each other. We’d say what the secret behind the scenes
story was. And we’d hear it, without judgment. That was one of the great good luck things
that happened for us is that we would sit with each other, one person would say everything
that they didn’t like, for ten minutes. The other person would then say everything
they didn’t like about the other. And then we’d switch. Everything you do like. Everything you do like. No comments. No justification. When my partner’d say something she didn’t
like about me, the tendency would be to say, ‘Yeah, but…’ ‘No, well…’–but we didn’t do that. We just let it sit. So that she could just express it. And that was so useful. This is a little secondary aside. But really the true teaching here is: my partner
said to me once: ‘You know, we have a bigger mission here.’ She had taken on my mission for Freedom. To bring the world to Peace. To find true Freedom. She said, ‘We have a bigger mission here and
we can’t waste our time and our energy on all this emotional upset.’ And she was right. All the acting out, all the sexual stuff,
was distracting us from our essential purpose in life. And so that’s really where the question of
sex and spirituality comes in. Sex is not spiritual. And it’s not not-spiritual. It really has nothing to do with that. But what is useful: it can be a useful tool
or it can be an impediment. If your sexual emotional upsets are useful,
you use them to penetrate to the Truth, to see more deeply into who’s here, who’s invested
in what. What you want, what you’re trying to get. What you’re avoiding. And in that way, it’s a teaching tool. If, on the other hand, it becomes the distraction
of your life and you spend all your time and your emotional warfare, sexual warfare, you’ve
distracted yourself from life. From the bigger picture. You’re staying very small. So really the question here is about identity. The real question is: Who’s making love? So making love we know doesn’t really work,
it’s not an accurate term for what’s happening. But who is making love? And then if you go in to examine that, and
you go: Oh, nobody, there’s no one here–it’s not that. It’s not: nobody, there’s no one here. It’s: Who’s making love? I am. What do I want? What am I trying to get? What am I trying to keep? What am I trying to keep away? This is where we examine ourselves. This is where character develops. This is the possibility. So: sex or no sex–really, it doesn’t matter. Celibacy never brought anyone to Enlightenment. I was very lucky when I met my Teacher, my
sex chakra closed down and for twelve years I was celibate. I loved it. All the energy that had gone into my sexual
stuff went into my service of my Teacher. It was blissful. I loved it! And then it ended. As all states end. But it showed me something. It showed me the possibility of using our
energy in focus on something more important than our own personal. So here we are. Our old world order is collapsing, our society
has collapsed; it started, I’d say, with Kennedy’s assassination, the loss of the war in Vietnam,
which never was acknowledged in the American psyche. One of the things I notice when I’m in Germany
is that the German people have had to confront Nazism in their family, in themselves. And in that, there’s been a deepening of…a
deepening. In American culture, in never having to come
to terms with Vietnam, the culture was wounded and it festered. And then you have the Reagan right-wing counter-revolution
against the humanist uprising that was happening. Reagan brings in the ‘Greed is good’ philosophy
that inevitably leads us to the demagogue of Donald Trump, sexual misogynist. Whether Donald Trump wins or loses, it’s a
signal–and not only is it a signal of the decline, but it’s accelerating the decline. It’s accelerating the fragmentation of our
culture. And that’s painful. It’s horrifying. And it also is the opening of something new
that can be born. And this is where you come in. As we said in the 60s, ‘Will you be part of
the problem–or part of the solution?’ To be part of the solution is the willingness
to give yourself fully the investigation of who you are, where you are, what you are. And when you realize That, to give your Self
fully to the service of Life, to the service of Mother Earth, to the service of Love. That’s why we’re here. That’s what makes sense of everything. From the one-cell being, to your life, to
my life. It all can end here in Love. Otherwise, it’s an endless cycle of reproduction
and death. And wait and see, the world is not sustainable
this way. So human life–who knows how much longer it
has? You know, the dinosaurs died out, life continued. We know there’ve been other catastrophes,
life wiped out, most of the life forms on Earth–but it continued. Human life gets wiped out–the Earth will
continue. So this is a brief moment we have. We don’t know how much longer we have. But what will you give it to? How will you serve? That’s really what we’re here for? And if your sexual stuff is taking up your
time and energy, check it out. See if it’s worth it. Cause really, that’s all I’m interested in. I don’t care what your sexual orientation
is or what your sexual practices might be. I only care that you find out Who You Are. And give yourself to the Truth of your Self. So that you can be free. So there’s one less spot of suffering on Mother
Earth. Stefan has a question: Wow, hello, hello,
Eli. Hello, Stefan. Can you hear me? Yes. First of all, thank you so much for these
calls. They’re so, giving such clarity, I really
love it. [unclear] It’s a great experience to be connected. Great gift. Thank you so much. Thank you, Stefan. You talk about love relationships, I’m a bit
confused at this moment about relationships. I had a very confusing, very…a relationship
that was not very satisfying and I ended this relationship. Now I wish to have a relationship, more mature,
more honest and deeper relationship with a woman but it’s…lately I had the experience
of just meeting someone and it was like these rituals that are so deeply ingrained in the
culture and I felt like they are so wrong and yet not true and I couldn’t bring up my
own truth and I just felt like lost because…yeah, I felt like I was…I haven’t been honest
and on one hand, I would wish to have a… So, Stefan… …a real… Stefan, what if you have a mature and honest,
deep relationship with yourself first? That’s a challenge. Till that, why waste your time anywhere else? You see, you find your exact reflection in
your partner, your sexual partner. They will be just as neurotic as you are. They will be just as hung up as you are. So clean up your own act first. Have your own deep honest truthful loving
relationship with yourself then you don’t have to look for it outside. Whatever’s appropriate will come to you. You know, this is the problem of our world
is we chase the objects on the outside. In the most gross sense, you have Donald Trump
chasing objects that he calls women. Disgusting. But it’s really not much different from what
everybody else is doing. I want a deeper, more honest relationship
and I go chasing it. It’s like what you’re gonna find is your own
neurosis mirrored back at you. So why not finish it inside? Why not be so deeply transparent to yourself,
so deeply honest with yourself, that you don’t need anything else? If you don’t need anything else from the outside,
if you’re already fulfilled, then that’s what you’ll meet. Then you’ll meet others who are in the same
condition. That’s what will be attractive to you and
that’s what will attract you to them. Otherwise, what gets attractive is the mating
combinations of ego. It’s clear? Yeah, yeah. So if you say you have difficulty doing it
with yourself, how would you expect to be it easy doing it with someone else? What would be good step in that…on that
path? The first step is: you look within. Meet your Self for the first time. Have a first date. See who you are and what you want. See what’s real. See what’s deep and true and honest. See what isn’t. See what’s shallow and lying and confused. See, all confusion, Stefan, is a mental state. True Love is not confused. But in the mental state of trying to do something,
there’s suffering. There’s confusion. You can’t have confusion without thoughts. And as long as you’re having thoughts about
it, you’re not living life, you’re living your thoughts. And then you’re hormonally attracted to others
who will do a mating dance with that. Yeah. Thank you. I’m so glad you called. It makes it very clear for everybody. It’s beautiful. Thank you for being honest with us. This was an honest relationship. It’s beautiful. It served you and it served us. So thank you for your honesty. Okay, Debra. Hi, Eli. Hey, Debra. I…my heart just wanted to say how much I
appreciate what you just said, and yeah, I mean I sense the truth in it. I was divorced a few years ago and I have
not been with anyone since then and I’ve…there’s been a tremendous amount of peace, I mean
largely thanks to you and Gangaji…I guess I found that my…I’m more productive and
my energy hasn’t been spent on the emotional drama that you mentioned. Yeah. And I also just really appreciate, you know,
your sharing what Papaji said about it–it really being the drive to you know perpetuate
the species and I guess I’ve had glimpses of that, there was some recognition as you
were describing it, and I just really appreciate that. And then there’s been actually just a lot
of contentment without even wanting to, you know, meet someone. Which I…yeah, I really appreciate your support
with that, your and Gangaji’s support with that in the last few years. So beautiful. But I notice… sorry, what’d you say? So beautiful. So I notice something that this morning, I
happened to see my ex-husband and he mentioned that he was looking to meet someone or mentioned
that he was finding women attractive or something–and I felt this emotional pang, like it was, like
I felt the emotion, you know, the limbic bonding that you mentioned… Yes. So, I guess I’m still just kind of being with
that, but like in moments, I guess, you know, trying to see through it and in other moments,
feeling completely caught by it. Quite honestly. So… When you’re completely caught by it, Debra,
bear it. Don’t try to fix it by making it go away,
by seeing through it–just bear it. And you’ll find that this…the wounding of
the limbic bond that you had with your partner, in bearing it, it burns up–and something
deeper is revealed. If you try to fix it and make it go away,
this is putting a bandaid on it and maybe that’ll happen, maybe it won’t, but you can
actually use it well. Because you’re not gonna die from it. And you don’t have to do anything about it. It has nothing to do with you–and yet it
does because it’s your emotional wound. And so the way to use your emotional wound
productively is to bear it–which means you welcome it: Okay, I feel jealous that my partner’s
now looking at other women. I feel jealous that he wants somebody else. Whatever it is. Whatever the words are around it. You bear the pain of it without the story
of it. And if you bear it, it’s like a fire–it’s
a limbic fire–and when it burns up, it releases, and in the release, it breaks, and in breaking,
there’s an openness. When you’re completely broken, you’re completely
open; when you’re completely open, you’re free. Thank you. Oh. Thank you so much. I was trying to open as you were…I was opening
to some degree as you were speaking and you’re absolutely right–it’s my emotional wound,
like what came up for me was like, you know, I wasn’t going to exist, like the fear of
death was basically under the, you know, the jealousy or whatever was on the surface. Yes, beautiful. Beautiful. Don’t stop there, that’s so great. When you’re willing to bear nonexistence,
this is completely open. This is complete Freedom. If you don’t have to be somebody. What a gift that is. That’s so rare in this world. Thank you so much, Eli. Oh, I’m so glad, Debra. Thank you so much for your sharing with us. It serves everybody. Speak to you later. Okay. Hillary. Hello, Eli, can you hear me? I can. Oh, good. My quest, I don’t know is the right word…I
have what everybody keeps telling me is a dream life and I get that and then it is a
beautiful place where I live. There is this thing I heard somebody last
night telling me, I went to a…not me, but telling the crowd actually, a beautiful kirtan. And he said: ‘We get everything–but there’s
one thing that we still want. And we forget all about the others and we
crave this thing.’ I don’t forget that I am and how blessed I
am. But this other thing keeps…keeps grasping
at me and I keep at times grasping at it. And that is to have a relationship. To feel that companionship, that love, that
caring, and I’ve been with myself for quite sometime and I so love myself now and I just
wish I could be at peace with this other loving. To let it go or let it be all right just to
be with me. It just keeps coming and coming and, like,
takes me over. And I just love to hear how you can open me
up to… Hillary… …what’s really going on here. Forget this idea that I know myself and I
never forget myself. That’s ridiculous. That’s a concept you have. What is it when you say this comes over you
and overwhelms you–who is it that gets overwhelmed? Who gets overwhelmed is this needy person
who wants companionship–and I appreciate that. As animals, we’re social animals; we love
having companions, some more than others. And that’s the animal instinct. And that’s okay. But really Hillary, what it’s driving you
to, is to have a relationship with yourself, a true one. A deep one. One that is so loving, that is so compassionate,
that is so gentle, that is so kind, that you don’t need anything else. When you don’t need anything else, you will
be healed of your neurotic drive for something else. Then you actually will attract what it is
you’re searching for. You’ll find someone else in the same situation. Otherwise, you’ll find someone else in the
same condition that you are: A hungry needy somebody looking for shelter from the storm. And then the two of you will get together
’cause you have this mutual need and it won’t last. That’s the experience, right? So eventually, it’s beautiful, you say, Okay,
I had enough, I don’t wanna do that again. But just cutting it off and not finishing
with yourself–this is what’s being called for, Hillary: To surrender deeply into this
Love of your Self. To be a bride for your Self. To be so pure and holy, so immaculate for
your Self that you’re drawn into the depths of your Self. Then you’ll have this Love affair that you’ve
never experienced in your whole life. A Love affair from soul that is so fulfilled,
that is so caring and loving, that all the wounds are healed. Then you won’t care. If it happens…whatever happens, happens,
and it’ll be okay. And at that stage, you’ll find others that
are like that. And then you’ll find someone else who is also
fulfilled and happy and doesn’t care if they ever…because they don’t need anybody. Then, you’ll find a perfect partner. That’s my marriage advice: Start by marrying
your Self. Yes. A few months ago, I was tested in that. Somebody came along and they were very loving
and kind and I think, I truly felt I saw, felt their soul. But they weren’t in that same place and I
actually did let them go ’cause they weren’t in the same place. And that for me was there for learning and
much… Hillary, where they were…where that man
was is where you are. He was just as needy, he was just as flawed. Yes. He was just as neurotic and so you have to
be able to start at home. You have to be able to do it for yourself
first. Otherwise, what you’ll attract is the same
thing that you’re putting out. That’s what we do. Yeah. But how do I do that? I’ve been… Okay. …sitting with myself for sometime. You’re not quite getting it. You believe you already know your Self and
you never leave your Self is what you started with. Forget all that. Start with this longing for something else. This longing is a longing for home. Make it your life. Give yourself to this longing. Not for somebody outside yourself–but for
the True Beloved. Give yourself fully to this longing for the
Beloved. Surrender into your Self. Then you’ll find your Self. Then life will begin. Okay? Yes. Good. Thank you. Thank you, Hillary. I’ll see you in a few weeks. Yes, I’ll see you soon. Thank you, Eli. Oh, thank you, dear. It’s good to hear your voice. Bye. Bye. Okay. Okay, one more. Michael from Germany. Hello, Eli? Hey, Michael. Hello. Nice to hear you. Do you hear me? Ya, zayer gut. Okay, perfect. I have a question. You said before to Hillary: Start by marrying
your Self. And so there are questions in me like: Does
it mean renounce to sex or does it mean sit alone at home or does it mean…? Michael! What does this mean, you know…? It means whatever it takes. It means to be willing for whatever it takes. You’re already trying to make a deal. Should I do this? Should I do that? Then I can keep this, so I won’t have to do
that… Yes, I want to have a plan, I want to have
a plan or something, you know. Yeah, there’s no plan. It’s whatever it takes. Right. Who knows what it will take? So I don’t know it, okay. Before I went to meet Papaji, I examined myself. I didn’t know who I was going to find but
I knew I was off to find a Teacher, a final Teacher. And I had to really examine myself: What am
I not willing to give? And I looked at my life: Sexuality, yeah,
I can give my sex; I would say chocolate and marijuana were maybe harder than sex; everything,
I was willing to…I looked at it all–what am I attached to? What am I not willing to give? The only thing I really came up with I wasn’t
willing to give was my love for my partner. And then I really examined, I said, okay–if
it meant her liberation, I could give it; but I couldn’t give my love for my partner
if it meant my liberation. And of course when I met my Teacher, he said,
‘How can you give up Love? It’s your Nature.’ And as for the rest, it didn’t matter. I told him, ‘You know, Papaji, I smoke grass.’ And I thought he’d say, Okay, stop. I was willing; okay, I’ll stop. He said, ‘Oh, so does Shiva.’ I never expected that answer. How beautiful. It’s being willing for everything. Being willing for everything with no plan. Then you’ll see. You’ll see what’s required. Whatever the requirement is, you’re willing. So sex doesn’t have… doesn’t stop, no? Doesn’t have to stop but the dependent may
[unclear]… This is still trying to make a deal about
how it’s gonna work–who knows? Ohh, okay. I got it. Okay, thank you. Yes. Thank you. Thank you for being… Ah, it’s good to hear your voice, dear. Thank you. Choose. That’s the unfathomable beauty of the surrender
to your Self, is it’s not that you have to be celibate, you have to stop this, you can’t
do this–there are no rules–there’s no ‘should’s. There are no requirements. The only requirement is the willingness for
whatever it takes. That’s it. You don’t know–have to know how to do it,
you don’t have to know anything– except be willing. If you’re willing for whatever it takes, this
is Consciousness as an unstoppable force. If it takes death, so be it. If it takes no sex, so be it. If it takes no relationship, so be it. If it takes poverty, so be it. If it takes wealth, so be it. If it takes more sex, so be it. If–whatever it takes. You just put it all as an offering to Love–and
see what Love takes. See what’s required. Who knows. It’s a Mystery. It’s a Divine Mystery of Love. You can’t make Love–but you can be Love. You can’t make Love–but you can surrender
to Love. You can’t make Love–but you can give yourself
so fully to Love that Love eats you, absorbs you–and then, when you’re eaten by Love,
what could you be but Love? Then you look out through Love’s eyes. Then you see the world is Love. Then life begins. And this is our time. This is our moment. I’m so glad you’re here for this. Thank you everybody who’s on this; we’re connected
all over the world in this moment and we all have the same good Heart, the same loving
Truth of ourselves, same True Nature. It’s called ‘Buddha Nature.’ Awakened Consciousness. Whatever names you give It: Unnameable, Unfathomable,
Timeless and Formless. That’s What You Are. That’s Who You Are. And if you’re willing to give yourself to
That, you merge into your Self–and then you be your Self, quite naturally. And the world is a better place for it. So: Thank you so much for being here. May all beings be happy and free. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Robin Kshlerin



  1. Don Roche Posted on October 19, 2016 at 3:30 pm

    I dont get what you mean by "You are love." What do you mean by "love"?

  2. Robert Kithara Posted on October 21, 2016 at 8:26 pm

    Thank you so much Eli, Thanks you alot. Love

  3. Cherie Ann Booker Posted on December 1, 2016 at 6:20 pm

    Amazing!!! I am so grateful to have come upon you. You speak such truth! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

  4. DivineNewAge Posted on January 23, 2017 at 4:35 am

    Eli, It's wonderful your commitment and teaching to spur other to realize Self Truth.
    However, I disagree with you that Ronald Reagan stood for greed, after the guilt of the Viet Nam war era. And that you currently seem to view Donald Trump as a misogynist, which he isn't. I would hope that you're not getting your impressions/information from the "mainstream media," totally controlled by the global elite "cabal" and "new world order" agenda to enact totalitarian rule over the world populations (which will not succeed). I think a realized person like yourself can still be unknowing of the details of knowledge in the world, if your attention is not really examining that, respectfully. Peace.

  5. Druma Posted on December 10, 2017 at 12:55 am

    This possibly wins the most elaborate crap men spew to excuse/dissociate/ being unfaithful to your wife. Ha. Monogomy is a discipline born out of deep love and respect. All the best though 🙂

  6. Mohamed Ladha Ladha Posted on December 11, 2017 at 8:45 pm


  7. Sunny Chic Posted on January 6, 2018 at 5:10 am


  8. Yasmine Chourbagui Posted on May 29, 2018 at 5:05 pm

    I really enjoyed everything and was right on board until you came to your comment about Donald Trump.
    Sign that we r going downhill? Really and what about a Billy Boy Clinton? Who raped women? Really? So Are you a democrat? Hmmmmmm

  9. Claude LeBel Posted on February 15, 2020 at 2:23 pm

    Thanks for these uploads. Really appreciate.